S tier |
Blackberry |
Cherry |
Pear |
Banana |
Asian |
A tier |
Plum |
Blueberry |
Pineapple |
Mango |
Peach |
B tier |
Avocado |
Dragonfruit |
Kiwi |
Raspberry |
|
C tier |
Cantaloupe |
Apple |
Grapes |
Strawberry |
Watermelon |
D tier |
Grapefruit |
Orange |
Honeydew |
Pomegranate |
Pears do not have a strong flavour, but I find them mildly sweet. It's subtle and I can respect that. Many fruits don't respect you enough to let you do the work, instead the fruit flavor blasts you and I find that to be a bit rude.
An unripe pear is a very different experience than a ripe pear. I DO NOT like ripe/overripe pears, they are mushy, so for the sake of this analysis I am running with the assumption of eating the fruit at its finest. With that said, an unripe pear is very tasty, the texture is very crunchy which like the flavour is a bit rare. The thick skin also plays into the texture feeling, and they comine to create a texture that is very satisfying. The best apple wishes it had the texture of an unripe pear.
I find that when I eat a pear, I feel like a monkey. This is due to the texture I preivously mentioned. I feel as though I am eating a potato if eating a potato wasn't a horrible experience. Somehow my ancestors have given me this gift of primal unexplainable satifaction from eating a starchy fruit. I will cherish this gift for time immemorial.
Pomegranates are designed by nature to deter me. Pomegranates are meant for ants. I am not the biggest fan of tart flavors, and while I can appreciate the sweetness I inevitably end up eating a large amount of pith (the bitter white part). I can understand how some people (freaks) enjoy the flavour of pomegranate, but I am not among their ranks.
I wish I enjoyed the flavour of pomegranates because I really like the concept of making fruit consumption a game, something that merits skill. If the seeds were sweeter I think the idea of eating small packets of flavour would be really cool.
When I eat pomegranate I feel as though I have been played the fool. I have purchased an item with the promise of a sweet treat. Instead I am met with bitter pith and an insurmountable wall of tartness. I will not buy another pomegranate. I will not buy another pomegranate. I will not...
Pineapples are very interesting to me, namely because they put up for of a fight than most fruits. Namely, pinapples have a lot of enzymes and citric acid which gives them their distinctive sweet and lip pucking flavour. I am not the biggest fan of sour tasting foods but I can make an exception for pineapple. Pineapple is in fact so powerful that it can alter the flavour of other foods like dairy. I don't like dairy either so extra points for pineapple. Anyways, it's tasty and cool. Not the best but it's up there.
Pineapple shines the most in the texture department. Spongey yet firm. It melts in your mouth but packs a powerful punch. I think more fruit should strive to be like pineapple. One of the better "soft texture" fruits. I generally prefer something with a bit more crunch but I can appreciate game when I see it.
Pineapple is a guilty pleasure, a forbidden lover who I must cast away lest I am hurt. I have weak enamel, which is to say that pouring acidic pineapple juice onto them is generally not good for them. I do enjoy pineapple but for the sake of my teeth I tend to avoid it. I envy those who can eat freely, consuming pineapple with wanton abandon...
Apples are surprizingly bland. This is perhaps a hot take but I will die on this hill. Apple cider is so tasty, one of my favorite drinks (cold apple cider is better than hot I will also die on this hill). But how many apples do you need to concentrate to get a flavour that strong? 40 apples makes a gallon of apple cider. By volume that's about a 3:1 fruit to cider volume ratio. I think that really says something when you compare this to other fruits like lemons, or even less flavoured fruits like blueberries that do not need to be concentrated.
An apple at its best has a really nice texture. The skin is thin and breaks easily, and the flesh is firm and crunchy. Should these conditions not be met, and apple is a horrid thing to me. Let me be clear, I am not a picky eater. Apples are the exception to the rule for me. Something about mealy apples, or apple skin that doesn't easily break just really puts me off.
Apples are a gamble. Apples are also rapdily changing. When I was growing up, Honeycrisp was the big kahuna. If you wanted to pay extra money for an apple you bought Honeycrisp. And they were (and still are) very good. Crisp and juicy! BUT this is no longer the case. If you go to the store to buy an apple and you want to pay more, you buy a Cosmic Crisp. And I'll admit Cosmic Crisp apples also also quite tasty. With that said, I do not think there is a major difference between the two. This is of course due to changes in fruit varieties as more growers get involved with genetic splicing and selective breeding. I have no preference between the two but I am not willing to buy an apple I know COULD be mealy. Thus, I am happy as now my beloved Honey Crisps are less expensive. All of this is to say that I can enjoy apples but only if they are crispy!
Bananas are a classic candy flavour and for good reason. Bananas are sweet yet creamy. Fluffy yet sticky. Yellow yet brown. I wrote previously that I am usually not a fan of "soft" fruits but I love bananas. I am bananas for bananas. They taste great and I simply have nothing else to say about them.
Banana texture can be controversal, but anytime I take the risk and eat a banana I am not sure about, I am caught in a safety net of banana-goodness. A banana at its finest is firm enough to not turn instantly into mush but also melt in your mouth. I do not like to think about the noises my mouth makes when I eat a banana, but the texture that produces those sounds is good.
My heart swells with a bittersweet joy whenever I eat a banana, especially a good one. Bananas are really messed up genetically, which means that any decade (year???) now bananas could be wiped off the face of the earth. FOREVER. How lucky am I to have this experience of eating such a delicious fruit and yet how heartbreaking is it to know that this fruit might not exist in the next few years. I alone live in this moment with the capacity to eat and enjoy this banana, but will my children get this opportunity? Will I in 5 years? Any banana could be my last, and that knowledge is both eye-opening and terrifying.